I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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