i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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