we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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