I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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