maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize