I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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