I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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