I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
