My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
