his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize