I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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