His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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