I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
soo... how was my night?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
