she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I wear drunk well.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
