I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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