Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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