My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Randomize
