can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
