whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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