Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
