I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
