Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
