brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
