we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
