..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
