I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
