Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
