u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
