I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
