Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
