hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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