I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
