i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I supernannyed him into submission
how drunk are you?
Several
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
