I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
