If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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