a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize