My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
