Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
