It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize