I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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