so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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