Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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