So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
