if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I need water and some morals
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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