when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
