no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
