Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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