And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
