so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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