Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize