We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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