I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
cat food counts as protein by the way
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
