Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
