as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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