...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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