Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
