i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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