Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
