All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
