I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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