Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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