You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
