# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
