New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
