I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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