when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
