Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
