What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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