wat bout pragnant strippers??
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
