Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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